How Reality killed the Disney Princess

The Disney Love Story-Once upon a time, in Far-far-away Land lived a charming, handsome Prince with a beautiful White Horse. He had everything he ever needed but was cursed to an Eternity of Loneliness. One glorious summer day he happened to rescue a Fair Maiden. They fell in love, his curse was lifted and they Lived happily ever after...  Oh and, I forgot to mention that they rode away towards the horizon in their White Wedding finery amidst cheering crowds on that beautiful White Horse before the sign "The End" appears on screen..!
Reality's Love Story-You're at a party and you meet some one new. Girl thinks, "Hey this guy seems way better than the jerks I've dated." Guy thinks, "Not bad, we have a lot in common." This leads to an add on Facebook, swapping of numbers, a date, a relationship, followed by an awkward, "This is not working out.. You deserve someone better.. We're not meant to be.." conversation. If a couple still manages to get past that, there are parents and society not being ok with it! So the unhappy couple part ways and the cycle starts again, but this time, with a different person..
As a little girl, I pictured myself living a modern day version of the Disney dream. Fairytales.. *sigh..* Disney always had those things called Happy Endings.. Wonder whatever happened to that rare commodity now! Does Prince Charming exist? Is Magick extinct? Somewhere down the lane I realized that continuing to exist in that world of naivety was a recipe for heartbreak.
When we were kids, they gave us Hope. They said that one day you will find your Soulmate and you will have your very own happy ending. They didnt tell us that Prince Charming may like that other girl. They didnt tell us that with all that good food Princess Belle put on a few extra pounds. They didnt tell us that Cinderella wasnt allowed to wed the Prince cos they werent of the same caste/religion. So much for the honesty!!
Do Fairytales come true?? There might for a lucky few for whom they do. But they're the Exception! We aren't a part of that exception. For us mortals, life, as a rule, seems to follow the Murphy's Laws- If something can ever go wrong, It Will!!
In conclusion, Is living in the Disney world worth all the vulnerability and inevitable heartbreak? Or should we harden ourselves to face Reality and miss out on all that glorious love that could someday be possible?
Nah.. I dont think I could ever be that cynical. I Believe. I Hope. I Love. I Live..

VS

Reality???!

Learning and Unlearning

Why the sudden urge to write, after so many years of the pen and paper lying idle? What is this that drives me to put my thoughts between these pages?
For one, there's Change. The only constant in life is change. This change hasn't always been for the better. There are so many regrets, so many moments written off in the past as Fate, so many faces and places lost in the memory, yet so many of them too hard to let go.
My childhood, my Wonder Years. Growing up without a care in the world. The greatest dilemma being which flavour of ice cream to have for dessert. Life was simple, then life changed. Evolution, growing up, becoming more responsible, independence, whatever else it may be called, the fact still remains. In time, we learn. Life lessons imprinted on the mind. Footsteps on a seashore that leave a mark, only to be washed away and remade. Constantly learning and unlearning. Swinging back and forth like an Old Clock's pendulum.
Who am i really? An optimist, a pessimist, a cynic, a believer, the friend and lover or a soul imprisoned behind frozen walls? Facing an identity crisis as I'm forced into corners and made to relearn thinking processes just because I woke up one day and realized that the World isn't what I thought it to be.
Like fuel to an emblazoned fire, there are all these clashing thoughts! I've always wanted to be free and not be tied down by any mortal force. I am also seeking this permanence, be it with friends, family or love. But is it possible to Love so dearly yet be free enough to just get up and leave?
Detachment was my only weapon when it came to dealing with the world. No, I'm not a loner. I like people, as long as there is a certain invisible distance between me and the rest. The Heavy Curtain hung separating the girl that every one knew and the girl locked up inside the heart never to be revealed. I was scared that if people saw the real me, they may not like what they see.
Of late, I let my guard down, enough to let a certain few look behind that curtain. Surprisingly, they did not run. They were not scared or let down or more importantly, they did not judge.
But is this risk worth taking? Is it really worth trusting? Trust-an emotion that was as foreign to me as living in an Igloo. But here I am, caring, loving and trusting. Feeling open, disarmed and vulnerable. Reading my Dusty Old Journals i realized it was something I longed and hoped for back then. Now that i have it all, why does it scare me? What is it i fear?


(an extract from the first page of my Journal)

Run

Is there a place far away,
A place where i could live someday?
Far from the crowded, maddened streets,
Escape this horrid, scorching heat,
A place where grass is always green,
With air so fresh, crisp and clean,
A place where I'm more than just a face,
A plain ol' name, running the race,
Where i know that people are genuine,
Not thinking of ends before they begin,
Don't want to continue this mundane existence,
Without a sense of independence,
Don't want to be a part of the Ton,
Without turning back, wish i could just Run..

Obsession

Watching through lenses,

The pictures do not lie,

Transformation in many forms,

As time steadily flies.

When there was unrest,

Preferred to hide.,

Seeking shelter in mundane vocation,

Rather than cry.

Reality through fogged glasses,

Dreams of clear skies,

Those cocoons of comfort,

Bore moths, not butterflies.

It was easier to submit,

Why the fight?

“Obsessions can destroy you,

Eat you from inside,

Chains that imprison, enslave,

No matter what you try.

My only plea-

Wish this Insanity goodbye!”

She stared into me,

Those hollow, haunted eyes,

Obsession had won.

She replied-

“Kill my passion, slay my soul,”

Alas, there she died…

Behind the Mask

A fully bloomed rose outside,
A withering lily inside,
A smile on her lip, a sparkle in her eye,
A cry in her mind, a tear in her heart.

Everyone likes her for who she is,
Joyful company and fun she is.
But no one understands her real core,
Her life’s not gold, but it is an ore.

A free bird ready to fly,
If she was so, she’d now be in the sky,
A caged heart, and anguished mind,
Fed up of pleasing and being kind.

Her life is envied by one and all,
Jealousy, Expectations, Pride and Falls-
These fill up her life and make it dark.
Her life’s not the moon, but d black velvet around.

Wallowing in self pity when she’s alone,
Partying and laughing with both friends and foes,
Here is an example whose life’s a mist,
She is on her quest to find hope, joy and bliss..


(one of my much older works that i recently stumbled upon)

My Dying Love

My Dying Love don’t you pray for me,
There’s no such thing as immortality,
There was you, then there was me in pain,
Hurt, Battered, bruised in hopeless disdain,
No secret smiles, no love so deep,
Could make up for all the tears I weep.

My Dying love, there you lay,
Amidst the cold and dark enslaved,
The heart that once beat
in tune with mine now pierced.
As I walk away I will not cry,
Your serpent tongue bled me dry.

I try and reach out to you once more,
Then I realize you’re no more.

Though once bitten shy twice,
Crawled to the altar of sacrifice,
Endured driving you in your hearse,
Your lifeless body, much less the curse,
But was easier than tormented moments,
With you in the flesh and so alive.

Sickened by you,
Believed your ruse,
Now crowded pews,
Singing funeral tunes.

As I walk away I will not cry,
Your serpent tongue bled me dry.