How Reality killed the Disney Princess

The Disney Love Story-Once upon a time, in Far-far-away Land lived a charming, handsome Prince with a beautiful White Horse. He had everything he ever needed but was cursed to an Eternity of Loneliness. One glorious summer day he happened to rescue a Fair Maiden. They fell in love, his curse was lifted and they Lived happily ever after...  Oh and, I forgot to mention that they rode away towards the horizon in their White Wedding finery amidst cheering crowds on that beautiful White Horse before the sign "The End" appears on screen..!
Reality's Love Story-You're at a party and you meet some one new. Girl thinks, "Hey this guy seems way better than the jerks I've dated." Guy thinks, "Not bad, we have a lot in common." This leads to an add on Facebook, swapping of numbers, a date, a relationship, followed by an awkward, "This is not working out.. You deserve someone better.. We're not meant to be.." conversation. If a couple still manages to get past that, there are parents and society not being ok with it! So the unhappy couple part ways and the cycle starts again, but this time, with a different person..
As a little girl, I pictured myself living a modern day version of the Disney dream. Fairytales.. *sigh..* Disney always had those things called Happy Endings.. Wonder whatever happened to that rare commodity now! Does Prince Charming exist? Is Magick extinct? Somewhere down the lane I realized that continuing to exist in that world of naivety was a recipe for heartbreak.
When we were kids, they gave us Hope. They said that one day you will find your Soulmate and you will have your very own happy ending. They didnt tell us that Prince Charming may like that other girl. They didnt tell us that with all that good food Princess Belle put on a few extra pounds. They didnt tell us that Cinderella wasnt allowed to wed the Prince cos they werent of the same caste/religion. So much for the honesty!!
Do Fairytales come true?? There might for a lucky few for whom they do. But they're the Exception! We aren't a part of that exception. For us mortals, life, as a rule, seems to follow the Murphy's Laws- If something can ever go wrong, It Will!!
In conclusion, Is living in the Disney world worth all the vulnerability and inevitable heartbreak? Or should we harden ourselves to face Reality and miss out on all that glorious love that could someday be possible?
Nah.. I dont think I could ever be that cynical. I Believe. I Hope. I Love. I Live..

VS

Reality???!

Learning and Unlearning

Why the sudden urge to write, after so many years of the pen and paper lying idle? What is this that drives me to put my thoughts between these pages?
For one, there's Change. The only constant in life is change. This change hasn't always been for the better. There are so many regrets, so many moments written off in the past as Fate, so many faces and places lost in the memory, yet so many of them too hard to let go.
My childhood, my Wonder Years. Growing up without a care in the world. The greatest dilemma being which flavour of ice cream to have for dessert. Life was simple, then life changed. Evolution, growing up, becoming more responsible, independence, whatever else it may be called, the fact still remains. In time, we learn. Life lessons imprinted on the mind. Footsteps on a seashore that leave a mark, only to be washed away and remade. Constantly learning and unlearning. Swinging back and forth like an Old Clock's pendulum.
Who am i really? An optimist, a pessimist, a cynic, a believer, the friend and lover or a soul imprisoned behind frozen walls? Facing an identity crisis as I'm forced into corners and made to relearn thinking processes just because I woke up one day and realized that the World isn't what I thought it to be.
Like fuel to an emblazoned fire, there are all these clashing thoughts! I've always wanted to be free and not be tied down by any mortal force. I am also seeking this permanence, be it with friends, family or love. But is it possible to Love so dearly yet be free enough to just get up and leave?
Detachment was my only weapon when it came to dealing with the world. No, I'm not a loner. I like people, as long as there is a certain invisible distance between me and the rest. The Heavy Curtain hung separating the girl that every one knew and the girl locked up inside the heart never to be revealed. I was scared that if people saw the real me, they may not like what they see.
Of late, I let my guard down, enough to let a certain few look behind that curtain. Surprisingly, they did not run. They were not scared or let down or more importantly, they did not judge.
But is this risk worth taking? Is it really worth trusting? Trust-an emotion that was as foreign to me as living in an Igloo. But here I am, caring, loving and trusting. Feeling open, disarmed and vulnerable. Reading my Dusty Old Journals i realized it was something I longed and hoped for back then. Now that i have it all, why does it scare me? What is it i fear?


(an extract from the first page of my Journal)